Friends

Here's a little anecdote I've imparted on a few people. It seems to have amused them so I'll write it down here.

The years I spent in junior high were, well... hmm. Can't really think of any single adjective to describe that period in my life. Stupid? Absurd? Shitty? Stupurditty? Yeah, that's it; those sure were some stupurditty times. That's why I don't talk about them. But this particular story is just too priceless not to tell, as it really kind of captures the essence of what life was like for me back then.

One day after lunch period I see a friend of mine walking to class with this other kid I've never met before. Well, just as we pass, this kid turns to me and says, "Hey, Oliver... You're a fucking homo."

Ooookay. I wasn't expecting to be blessed with an explanation as to why this nearly complete stranger had decided to tell me this. I got lucky I guess.

"Yeah, I hear you don't watch Friends. You're fucking gay."

And that was it. We proceeded onward to our seperate classrooms.

If I had to choose one event in my life which spelt out "Irony" with a capital "I," this would be it. If you don't know why the words that were spoken on that fateful day were ironic, than you obviously aren't familiar with the show that is Friends. To increase the "I-Factor" to an even higher level, let it be known that the friend who imparted this amazing young man with the damning information regarding my taste in television quit being my friend on that day as well.

And that's why I fucking hate the show Friends. Fuck that wimpy orgy of flacid humor. Wow, three girls and three guys who are friends, what a fucking concept. I'm being sarcastic, dipweed. It's a contrived, unoriginal premise that you can observe simply by walking into any internet cafe where trendy twenty-something-year-old Manhatten hipsters hang out. Fuck those guys. The blonde one is retarded and thinks she can talk to cats. Whipe my hairy ass, please.



Joey has bitch tits!



That is all.