Masterpiece Theater, With Master P

Here's an assignment I had to take care of for this introductory acting class I'm taking. The idea was to critique an actor in a professional play.

Actor Critique
Professional Production
“The Weir”
Oliver Perez

Ah yes, The Theater! Where the human condition is often imitated with such gusto and alacrity that the audience transcends their seats and is transplanted forthwith into the world of the stage! Hello! Hello, and welcome… welcome to the realm of the theater, or more accurately, the realm of theater criticism. I am your host, Oliver Perez, scientist, musician, member of the American Bar Association, medical doctor, equestrian, pedestrian, and thespian.

Indeed, today’s review involves a delightful production of “The Weir,” a play which takes place in a small Irish town near the river for which the show is named. In this tale, an amicable young woman from Dublin has left her life in the big city and relocated to this quaint rural hamlet. At a tavern, she begins to become acquainted with the locals, who after “droinkin’ a fyoo points,” begin to inundate her with some of the town’s popular local folklore, all of which pertains to supernatural occurrences. That’s right: Ghost Stories. OOOOOOWEEEEEEEEYOOOOOO! However, after a few chilling tales are passed her way, she totally rips the locals a new asshole with her own ghostly story. Jesus Christ, she gave those Oyrish tits a run for their money! WOOOOWEEE! By the way, UC Santa Cruz, that was a joke: I have nothing against the Irish, and I don’t think they’re tits, okay? Okay. Anyhoot, I enjoyed this play thoroughly, as it provoked in me such chills and thrills that I nearly had to lay at my bedside for a fortnight! Tally ho, pip pip cheerio, quite right gov’nor, etc.!

The character of Valerie was played magnificently. I think she portrayed the common human situation of being introduced to a new setting and unfamiliar people, and then gradually opening up to them, quite beautifully. I was very much convinced. Furthermore, I must hand it to all the actors, as they did a very descent job of starting off the play sober and gradually moving to a slightly sloshed state.

Valerie’s tension was a huge part of what made her performance. She starts off in an unfamiliar state, and this tension shows appropriately, though she accounts for the fact that her character is not naturally introverted. Then, when she finally becomes comfortable enough to unleash her own tale, her tension returns tenfold. A professional job and well executed. Bravo, I say. Bravo!

Her concentration was marvelous. Fantastic! Magnificent! Not a moment went by where her mental fortuity did falter and crash upon that dastardly rocky shore of Shitty Acting. Since this is a play where stories are told, she did have to spend a lot of time “listening.” This could be a pitfall for some, but not for her. BRAVISSIMO! THAT’S UH-ONE SPICY MEATBALL OF AN ACTRESS! Hey, UC Santa Cruz, that was a joke too. I respect women, and do not view them as pieces of meat. Let the record show. Thanks. :)

When it came to her breathing, I honestly can’t remember much. I guess that means it was good.

As for her resonance, what can I say? It was a tour de force of the human spirit! I mean, you think Jarred Fogle and his Subway diet are inspiring? Fuck that guy. Resonance, baby. She came in loud and clear like a hi-fidelity noise making device of some kind. The way she presented the climax of her story, turned out towards the audience and presenting it in full force to the house, no, to me, was moving. I felt like the San Andreas fault in 1989. Shit, sorry, UC Santa Cruz, according to Wikipedia, 63 people died in that earthquake. I guess I can’t weasel out of this one; that was genuinely politically incorrect. Please, be my guest and protest me. Just do it. I deserve it.

Right, so where was I? Ah yes, given circumstances. The actor was simply mired in them. That’s a good thing. I mean, she just had this air of being a person in a new place, out of her element, with a dark past just itching to be exposed. Even though it was never explicitly suggested until the middle of the play, I could just feel that she had a secret.

Anyway, I’d have to say that this play constituted a night well spent. I say, Bravo. Bravo indeed. Where are my crumpets?