Flipping a Bitch

Have you ever wondered about the term "flip a bitch?" It's the hippest new way to describe a u-turn. I have many theories about where this colorful bit of language came from.

Theory One: Making u-turns is a bitch, largely due to the peril involved in flipping your automobile into oncoming traffic at an unprotected left hand turn. Also, it is not uncommon to lack the necessary clearance to make one, as your huge American vehicle has the turning radius of the Titanic.

Theory Two: Women, (also known in some circles as "bitches" (sorry ladies(whoa, parentheses inside parentheses, that's cutting edge))) who are stereotypically known for having difficulties in making their way around via automobile, find it frequently necessary to make u-turns. Hence, "flip a bitch."

Theory Three: Gangstahs like to hollah at bitches as they slow down for a u-turn, and may also flip out their penises.

Theory Four: A band of traveling entertainers from Estonia had a special trick they did with a female dog that involved catapulting said canine over a giant piece of taffy in the shape of Ronald Regan. The bitch would typically flip head over heals in the air four or five times before landing in an enormous mug of eggnog that says "Today Is The First Day of the Breast of Your Wife" (Typical raunchy Estonian humor). Anyway, these Estonians had trouble reading the street signs when they came to visit the good 'ol U.S. of A, and thusly could not find the venue for which they were destined (The Luxor in Las Vegas. Somehow they were lost in Anchorage). Pualo, the leading man, is remembered as having said to his assistant Ferdinandrew, "Vee are out of tieyem, vee must fleep thees beetch right now! Also, vu-turn up here." And so, the people of Anchorage Alaska were amazed and delighted as the cannonballing canine was flipped continuously while the enterprising Estonians made a tenacious and unprecedented u-turn that would change the course of United States history forever. God bless America.

Theory Five: The internet.