Regarding Dick

Based on the above title, the reader might make three different assumptions regarding the topic of the following post. The first assumption might predict that this post is some kind of eulogy towards the male genitalia. Wrong, sorry to disappoint you Daltonius. And speaking of Daltonius, the second assumption one might make would be that this post is about that very man himself, for he is, in fact, a dick. Sadly, you'd be incorrect here as well. For more information on that subject, see previous posts.

The third assumption, that this post relates to our esteemed Vice-President, Dick Cheney, would be correct. As anyone not living under a rock must know, Dick
accidentally ejaculated a spray of seed, I mean, birdseed, I mean, um, bird shot, all over his lawyer friend Harry Wittington while hunting for tail, er, I mean, quail, in the land of Texas. I've satisfied my potty mouth quota for the next month. Well, day.

Anyways, the press was whipped into a frenzy over this matter. Comics were making fun left and right (but mostly left I'm sure). It seemed as though people who needed something bad to say about Cheney had just been thrown a bone and jumped all over it.

I don't agree with this man's politics. I'm a moderate and Cheney's way to far right for my tastes. I disagree with the administration's invasion of Iraq and several of their positions on social issues. But for Christsakes, the man made a mistake! These things happen, and while he may deserve some form of punishment among the hunting community, I think he deserves a little slack otherwise. Any of the slobs making fun of him could just have easily made that mistake. Furthermore, aside from the fact that hunting requires a gun, THIS INCIDENT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH POLITICS!

The accident that happened in that field is more a private issue than anything, though I agree it was a serious one. Yes, Cheney's high profile, and it's gonna get reported on no matter what. I accept that and don't mind. But please, a little sympathy.

While I'm going at it, let me share with you the mentality of some of the people that are taking this thing too far. In a segment of a school newspaper, students were asked, "Should Cheney have his hunting license revoked for shooting his hunting buddy?"

Here's one of the responses: "Yeah for sure. It's too bad he didn't kill the guy so he'd be on trial for murder. I didn't know you even needed a shotgun to hunt quail."

I for one am saddened by the fact that I go to school with this guy. Maybe Dick does or doesn't deserve to lose his license, I don't know enough about hunting to present a valid argument one way or the other. But the idea that it's too bad Wittington didn't die so Cheney could go to prison is incredibly asinine. Wait, so you're saying that you want to see someone die just so Cheney can be put out of office?

One of the major reasons people at this school don't like the Bush Administration is the war in Iraq. I'm sure this person is no exception, and you know I'm not. So, basically, while I assume this student believes Cheney should be out of office for all the dying in Iraq, he simultaneously wishes death on an innocent at the hands of the Vice President. Well, I see no blatant hypocrisies and/or mental retardation there!

Oh, and it's a well known fact that shotguns are used to hunt birds. Thank you for further proving your ignorance.