This Post is About Penises

I know what you're thinking:

"So it's finally come to this."

Now, after pausing and reflecting a little further, you're probably thinking:

"Thank you Jesus, I've secretly been waiting forever for Olivonius to write a post in his blog about cocks. This is pretty much why I pay for the internet."

Seriously though, I'm about 82.74% sure you're going to find what I'm about to write quite compelling, and a large part of that figure is derived from the fact that Daltonius reads this sometimes, and he really likes cocks. 82.74% ain't bad. On with the show.

As you may or may not know, most men think about their dicks a lot, and gay men probably have an even busier mental schedule since they're thinking about their dicks and other men's dicks as well. But regardless of sexual preference, one specific concern many men have regarding their wangs relates to size.

Some men consider themselves to be smaller than average while Lil' Johnny is asleep, though average or more when it becomes time for him to go out and play. It's come to my attention that men in this situation are commonly refered to as "growers, not showers." This means that, theoretically, some guy in the locker room who appears to have had genetics throw shit in his face in the Dick Department could be significantly better endowed when it comes down to brass tacks in the bedroom.

This leads me to the point of my post. If there can be "growers, not showers," doesn't that mean there could also be what I like to call, "showers and shrinkers?" Could there be some guy with a nine inch cock that shrinks down to 1.5 inches when it's time to visit the Dick Cave? Perhaps a wang that starts out huge when flaccid, and then reduces down to epically tiny proportions when erect? I don't see why not; I mean, people are born stuck together sometimes, and I saw a cat with two tounges once.

I'm surprised there haven't been any hentai animes made regarding this phenomenon. I could just imagine it: Some underage school girl who is supposedly "eighteen" with a tiny nose and disturbingly huge eyes pulls down some guy with spikey blue hair's pants and then gasps in astonishment at the monster she has unleashed. Then, as the guy's level of arousal increases, they both begin to look progressively more sheepish as his member does a reverse Incredible Hulk. At this point, both character's eyes have inflated to even more rediculous proportions, hash marks have appeared on their cheeks, and tiny tear drops have begun orbitting their heads while they utter noises out of their mouths that sound sorta like "Eeeeh?" and "Waaah!" Then an evil cyborg wizard with a french horn for a head and a noodle processor for a sidekick comes in and turns them into adorable dancing pandas, except they both have bright red baboon asses for some reason. Gee, this is actually turning me on.

At the very least, a feature such as that would spice up any carnival side show. Right there between the bearded lady and The-Guy-From-Any-Given-Seinfeld-Episode-Who-
Had-a-Quirk-That-The-Main-Characters-Couldn't-Stand would be "The Incredible Shrinking Boner," as announced in flashing magnificent neon lettering.

Or something like that. Just throwing it out there.