STRANGER DANGER!!!!11

During spring break, I went down to San Diego with some friends. It was a great trip, with one interesting little hiccup that many parents with young children might want to consider.

It was my last day down there, and I was having dinner with some buddies at a T.G.I. Friday's before I left for the airport. The meal was winding down, and I had to take a leak, so I got up and walked over to the men's room. There was a woman standing outside the restroom, probably in her mid thirties or so. She stopped me as I was about enter and asked if I could see if there was a kid named "Andy" in there, presumably her son.

I was about to say "sure," but hesitated a moment as I considered exactly how that might appear from the perspective of the kid or even a random bystander. Imagine it: you're an eight year old in a public restroom, using the urinal, when some scruffy looking guy who's a few feet taller than you walks up and starts talking to you. All I know is that when I was a kid, my mom made sure I was extremely paranoid of people I didn't know in public places, and this woman looks like she could easily have done the same with her kids.

Still, I couldn't bring myself to just flat out tell this lady I wouldn't help her with something so simple, so I said "okay" and went inside. When I entered, I found that there was only one other person in the bathroom, and lo and behold, it's a kid. He was washing his hands at the sink. I went up to him and simply asked, "Hey, are you Andy?"

He turns and gapes at me with this look of absolute terror on his face, eyes buldging out of his head. Great, I think to myself.

"Um, you're mom's out-" Before I can finish this sentence, the little guy has dashed past me and out the door as fast as his legs can carry him. Goddammit, how did I know this was going to happen? I proceed to the unrinal and begin to do my business. As I do, I imagine the whole restaurant staff waiting outside for the pedophile that tried to take advantage of little Andy. Yes, waiting with their rolling pins and spatulas and dinner menus so they can beat me unconsious till the police show up to take me downtown.

Well, as I'm letting it flow, I see the door to the bathroom open slightly. Another kid, who looks a lot like Andy except maybe two years older, (so I'm assuming he's his brother) peers in at me. This snot-nosed little smirk crosses his face and then he leaves.

When I got outside, the mom and the two kids had dissappeared, and I was still wondering what the hell had just happened. From what I could deduce, Andy ran out of the bathroom in a state of terror, whimpering about a strange man who tried to talk to him, and this inspired the brother to go in and look. Why the hell would anyone do that? Did the older kid see it as a potential opportunity to be molested in the men's room at T.G.I Friday's and just had spring for it?

THIS RUINED MY WHOLE TRIP!!! Naw, jay kay. However...

Parents: If you're going to make your kids into jittery little roaches when it comes to "strangers," then don't send "strangers" into the bathroom to find them for you. That's common sense.

Oh, and to that lady specifically: I don't know what that other kid's shit-eating little smirk was all about, but it definately indicated one thing very clearly: he needs to be smacked. Thank you.